Monday, December 22, 2008

Life Story

Yo...for a few weeks a have been thinking about my life and how crazy its been and it is...also i have been thinking about my journey and the journey thousands of other teens and other ppl like me have faced...so i have decided to write a book losely based on my life...i dont know if its going to be a memoir or what but i am writing a book...my focus has been on that...i also want to develop a screenplay as well but i think i will write the book first...so now my priorities are school, ball, book, music....of course God and family are first....im also gonna be doing short documentaries and things like that...as soon as a get my laptop its going to be crazy....im so so freaking creative right now...the only thing thats holding me back is me not having a laptop...the laptop i want has to be perfect so i guess thats the hold up...i want to leave a lasting impact on society and i think that my life story has a chance to do that...not just that but i have a voice and it needs to be heard...maybe i can help other ppl that were like me....maybe...but ok

Charles Hamilton is the shhhhh.....


So basically I have fallen in love with this man...the pink lavalamp is my new favorite album and whenn his debut comes out on interscope i will buy 10 copies no lie...seriously, the struggle the joy triumph that the pink lavalamp takes its listeners on a ride that rivals that of any drug...charles is a musical genius he self produced the ENTIRE album...check out his blog charleshamilton.blogspot.com and download the pink lavalamp...its legal and free. its his gift to us...sorry game...i think i found my new favorite rapper...you're retired anyways lol...meanwhile enjoy the holidays and be safe...also im about to get on my youtube grind so look out for that its gonna be crazy yo!!!!

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Monday, December 1, 2008

Right Now

So right about now, im back at school finishing up the semester and whatnot...umm not a part of the bball team right now...might transfer or stay...im totally undecided right now...im leaning towards staying here but i will re evaluate everything at the end of the year and will come to a decision around june or julyish...family...we good right now...pj is getting big and he getting some color (LOL)...jr doing good in school er thang...i really dont know about the brothers and sisters on my 'fathers" side because my poor ass excuse for a dad is an asshole...yea thats pretty mean but its the truth...i could hurl more insults but im nice and mature...something he will never kno about...anyways...im really just writing expressing my feelings and getting on with life...im really chill right now...thats the best way to explain it...i will get a summer job and all that...i mean its stuff i gotta have ya know...and since i last wrote i have a significant other in my life at the moment...so we will see how that goes but its lookin good for us...i really dont get serious til we hit about 5 months so 2 down 3 to go...lol...but im good on my end...god is good...im thankful for my family cuz without them i am NOTHING!!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Season is Here!!!

Whats up world? I knw i havent bn updating n a while and i apologize...ummm well the season officially starts monday with a game at lindsey wilson college...as of right now i do not knw if i will b playing because i have bn suspended but my status is up n the air as as right now. My new little one is doing great gettin bigger and he is healthy. I was a little down and out yesterday because of the simple fact is that I expect so much from myself and I am not performing up to my abilities. I just want to win every game and b perfect but I kno there is no such thing as perfect but i still wish to achieve that. I am focusing on just working hard each day to get better. I am gonna start a new section on the website where every Monday i ask a question from a fan.. please submit ur questions to brittanyfears12@gmail.com n the subject put question of the week... i promise i will answer each and every one...also how about Rajon last night? missed a couple of free throws but over all he had a good game...also my heart goes out to J. Hudson and her family in their time of need..well thats all for now...love u all...god bless

Monday, October 6, 2008

New Presidential Candidate... It's someone we know!

There's an effort to elect an unknown random person as President... and it's someone we know! Watch this online video about the surprising new nominee:http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnRzZ25ldC5jb20vcHJlcy5waHA/aWQ9MzcwNzQzJmFsdGY9Q3NqdXVib3omYWx0bD1HZmJzdA==Jot back a note to let me know what you think!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

HOOPIN!!!!

YEA SO THE FIRST OFFICIAL PRACTICE WAS YESTERDAY....ALL WAS WELL....WE WERE JUS GETTIN N2 THE FLOW OF EVERYTHING I GUESS....LITTLE DISAPPOINTED I WASNT NAMED A CAPTAIN, BUT HEY....I NEED TO "GROW UP" AS THEY SAY....I MEAN IM TIRED OF PPL TRYING TO CHANGE WHO I AM...I MEAN IM ME...IF I WALK AROUND MUGGIN PPL THEY SAY IM MAD....BUT IF I SMILE AND JOKE AROUND IM PLAYIN TOO MUCH??? WAT???? GET OUTTA HERE....I GUESS I HAVE TO FIND THE COMMON GROUND....BUT IMA ALWAYS B BFEARS...WEN ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER ONE OPENS....SO RIGHT NOW IM JUS FOCUSED ON BETTERING MYSELF EVERY DAY...WORKING HARD...STARTING AND GETTING OFF JV...SO THATS MY MAIN FOCUS...BESIDES SCHOOL AND MY WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL FAMILY WHO I MISS SO MUCH EVERYDAY....I DO IT FOR THEM...I SWEAR I MISS THEM MORE THEN THEY WILL EVER KNOW....BUT IM TAKIN CARE OF BUSINESS FOR US....OTHER THEN THAT ALL IS GOOD IN MY LIFE....ONE MONTH THE FIRST GAME...CANT WAIT....IM LOOKIN TO AVERAGE AT LEAST 10 POINTS, 6 REBOUNDS, 5 ASSISTS, AND 2 STEALS....AND IM JUS BEING MODEST....AS THE SEASON GETS CLOSER EXPECT THOSE NUMBERS TO INFLATE....LOL....

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

untitled

I know your gone
i see it too
but a small part of me
still loves you

The past is the past
i'm never lokkin back
but you're makin it easy
by the way you act

Cant Be civilized
just tryna be your friend
we promised we would
be friends til the end

The weather changes
and people do too
cuz you're not the same
it's not me its you

So what do i do
I have moved on
i'm tryna do right
but you treat me wrong

You're in love now
happy, so I let you be
she better not do you wrong
or she'll have to deal with me

so no matter what you do
no matter what occurs
Ima b here fa you
jus say the word

But the friend stuff
maybe I took it too far
cuz my feelings got involved
and that aint aint cool at all

its all love though
my feelings anit crushed
just me and you
i have finally given up

FREE

FREE
My heart is free
Thank God it's true
I am finally
Over you

It wasn't easy
it was super hard
but I see the light
and made it threw the dark

I feel so good
life is love
bfears is back
now thats wats up

I dont regret nothing
it was a great lesson
I passed my test
now I'm not stressing

My heart is free
thank God its true
on to the next
you're in my rearview

Monday, September 22, 2008

9-22-08


So on 9-16-08, another reason for my existence was born...PJ Brown Jr was born and man babies r such a blessing...this is my 8th sibling and its still special...i could b havin a horrible day and i look at him or jus think about him and i cant even get mad...i jus wana smile man...jus smile...in other news in doing good...school is good....ball is good...life is good...i gotta new saying. now BRAND NEW DAY...BRAND NEW SIGHT..BRAND NEW VIEW...ON THIS THING CALLED LIFE... so thats how I'm livin....


Sunday, September 14, 2008

Flashbacks & Understandings

Well my last post was about me being in a happy place and gettin over my ex...well this one is kinda the oppposite...lol...allow me to explain...okay me and the ex havent talked n like a month...then they deleted me on the space so i was like hey its a wrap...but then wen i was back home...i got a phone call and we talked on the phone for an hour!...jus about everything...the past, the present andd the future...it was good to have that understanding...they love me but r not in love wit me...i was like that cant b possible but they insisted it was...anyways we went out and i was like can i get a hug? BM was like duh come here and started smiling...so i gave them a hug and everything flashed back...i swear it was like in the movies yall...everything...jus came back and i didnt wana let go...but i did...and then we were at the club and They and their new boo was hugged up and erbody was lookin at me like i was supposed to be mad or something but i wasnt...i mean i wasnt happy...but i wasnt sad...get it? i didnt feel anything...im happy their happy...but im def glad we got an understanding...i needed that...and i did lose a fren...how idk...we havent spoke n a month but i didnt realize there were any hard feelings til i saw them n the club parking lot and called their name...they mean mugged the shit outta me...damn...i said is that for us? my crazy ass was ready to fight but i thought abt it...fight for wat? so what they dnt wana b my fren...y? only they knw...im good...their weak...the old brittany woulda tapped that ass...but hey im "maturing" now...lol its all good doe...im enjoying my life...school is great...ball is fine...god is good....

Thursday, September 11, 2008

one year three months

FIRST OFF A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR ALL THE LIVES LOST ON 9/11/01...NEVER WILL U B FORGOTTON...
WELL TODAY IS 9/11/08 AND IT WOULD HAVE BN A YEAR AND THREE MONTHS....AAND THE QUESTION WAS POSED TO ME...DO U MISS THEM? HONESTLY NO...THERE WAS A TIME IN MY LIFE WEN I THOUGHT I COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT THEM...BUT GUESS WAT IM LIVIN...AND LOVIN IT...I THOUGHT I COULDNT GO ON...BUT I DID AND I AM...I ANT GONNA LIE...THE THOUGHT CROSSES MY MIND FROM TIME TO TIME...BUT NOW ITS ONCE A WEEK INSTEAD OF 24/7...SO HEY IM MAKIN PROGRESS LOL....I DO MISS WAT WE HAD...NOT THE PERSON PAR SE....I MISS THE LIGHT NIGHT PHONE CALLS...WAKIN UP N THE MORININ...GOING TO EACH OTHERS GAMES...THE CONSTANT TEXTS...THE LOVE MAKIN...YEA I MISS THAT ASPECT...BUT THE PERSON? NOT SO MUCH...SO YEA IT WOULD HAVE BN A YEAR AND 3 MONTHS AND I TAKE TIME TO REFLECT ON WHAT COULD HAVE BN...BUT NOW I LOOK TO MY FUTURE AND WAT IS....I WILL ALWAYS HAVE LOVE FOR THAT PERSON...BUT HEY IVE MOVED ON...THANK THE LORD!!!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Happy Place

Thank u jesus times 100! Really! Seriously. I am on a high I have never bn on. I am high off life. And only one person can take responsibility. The Man Above. I was n the pits. In the darkness. But now I am n the light. I see the light. Thank u jesus! I am so happy right now yall....like im floating on clouds. Really. I am not ashamed to tell ppl. Wen u get this happy no one or nothing can bring u down. I am serious. TO anybody thats going threw it pray...and wait...its not gone happen over night. It took me like a month to get where i am. I cant imagine my life any other way. Thanks! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY>...I gotta rub it in to everybody who wanted to c me unhappy FUCK YALL!!!! HA! I overcame....u can too....

april 1st 07 on myspace

as i am sitting at this computer, listening to my girl lauren hill sing her songs, i cant help to think to myself......when is it my turn to shine? when will my love come? but for now i just focus on the two things i should be school and basketball....putting love in the backburna...for now....i am thinking about my friends.....the true ones....the ones who are here today and gone tomorrow....i am thinking about everything i have bn through up to this point in my life....the person i was and the person i have become...the things i did and the things i shouldnt have done....all the wrong that was to me and all the things i did wrong...a lot is going through my mind listening to this song...but i have to stay focused not just for me..but also for my family....i know who the ones are...who wi;; never leave my side....who will be with me no matter what....so i focus on the ones who love/like me instead of the ones that hate because i dont have time.....i know who yall are....i love yall forever....yall know yall are....the ones who talk behind my back....but its wassup brittany to my face.....i know who u are...i see through you like glass...i got eyes and ears everywhere...believe that....like lauren said...how u gon win and ur not right within?....think on that feeble minded people.....

me myself and i (july 6th 08 on myspace)

aight...its been a long time since i posted a blog...but here i go...now most of u know by now that i gotta tattoo that says me myself and i....and a lotta people bn asking me question regarding it...i got some love and some hate but its all good cuz honestly i dnt care....but it do feel good 2 have sum support out there...feel me???...but anyways people bn sayin that im concieted....man thats far from the truth...never have never will be...i aint ugly but i dnt walk around thinkin im the shit...i do have confidence but it took me a long time to get to that point...i may walk around wit my held high but thats fa a reason...i made it this far...i believe nothin can stop me...everybody should have confidence....and another thing people think im anti-social...ha what a joke....im laughing...ask anybody that has hung out wit me and they know im funny outgoing always tryna make people laugh and have a good time...i jus dnt fuck wit too many people...people have betrayed me....i trust no one...believe that.....and people think all these things about me that are not true...i cant help wat ppl think but i jus wana clear up sum misconceptions about me...im not stuck up...not a jerk (most of the times LOL) im jus a regular person...i really dnt care what ppl think about me...and honestly fuck a friend...when it all comes down to it...if i consider u a real friend i will ride fa u....but i DNT NEED friends....to me all i need is me....so i hope i let yall know a lil something...i am me never changing (only 4 the better)

poem/song/whatever (july 28th 08 on myspace)

i know i messed up i know i made mistakes
but i promise i can take it all away
together forever is what we used to always say
but forever aint too long cuz it aint today
i miss yo smile yo lips and yo tight hugs
and the way we held each other after we made love
i cant go threw the day without thinking of you
I remenience on the day u used to be my boo
my frens tell me to move on that its over and dun
i tried to but it aint easy or fun
its hurts more cuz u dun moved on wit yo life
and im still stuck thinking bout u day and night
ima fool a sucker for this thing called love
never again will i feel like i felt fa ya
back n the day u was my ace boon coon
my best fren ride or die my number 1 goon
but now we never hang out and we barely even txt
the past is the past i put that shit to rest
now all u gotta do is keep it real and say yes
cuz ya name is forever etched in my chest
wat i gotta do to prove to you that ive changed
its fa the best we aint gotta worry bout the same things
man i miss you wen the phone ring i hope its you
wen i get a text i hope its you too
this love thing it really aint a game
it went in and came out and i aint been the same
im spose to be happy enjoying my life
but without you nuttin seems right
i wanna do right but u playin me to the left
i swear this is how Lauren Hill musta felt
you gimme signs sometimes but maybe im wrong
u never know what u got til its gone
and i didnt know what i had til u dipped
i ran lip but in the end i still tripped
i see u n the club and i try to keep my cool
i dnt go back cuz i cant look at you
dancing wit other people wats at all about
i forgot u single i dnt care thats loose rap
everybody tell me to leave it alone
but wen its true love u cant leave it alone
dey dnt know wat we got i mean what we had
cuz if they did they too would be sad
you my soulmate me and u were meant to be
it was written in the books its our destiny
or maybe im crazy dreamin schemin 2 get u back were u was
i swear never again will i fall n love
its been 3 months 2 weeks and 6 days
i keep on thinking how i let u get away
some days im okay and some days im pissed
how did it end up like this???
all i got is memories of us to help me through
and them notes u wrote me i got them too
i feel like jay z on song cry the 3rd verse
right now it cant get no worse
but it do
im leavin fa college n a few
we need to get it together b4 i leave
somehow someway its a dream
im not a jealous person maybe i am a lil bit
but thats human nature baby dnt trip
please excuse me but remember that time
we spent the night in yo livin room crying
I dnt remeber y but i remember us
jus me and u cryin til the sun came up
we dun bn threw too much 2 throw it all out
when is the right time? i think now
we cant reconnect cuz we never connection
i jus cant wait to feel your affection
i forgot wat your kisses feel like your tender touch
i know wat u thinking y u tryna rush
toma aint promised and today we cant get back
more time for us to spend together know that
i said what i had to say know its on you
dnt keep me waitin any longer wat u gone do?

Takin' Off (Aug. 13th 08 on myspace)

Well 2ma im leaving 4 college and this past yr has bn a real eye opener 4 me...Losing frenz, gaining sum, fighting others, damn wat hasn't happened??? The highest of the highs the lowest of the lows, I have experienced them these past 12 months. For better or for worse??? only time will tell... To everyone that has supported me and continues to from the bottom of my heart I can do nothing but that u one thousand times over...for the ones who have distanced themselves from me and we no longer speak....i want to say thank u as well...people are in your lives for a reason or a season something like at yall kno wat i mean LOL...but i learn from every mistake that i have made...and to think that i graduated from high school...not many do that...and my own (father) sperm donor didnt show up...its nothin tho...never has really bn apart of my life...doesnt care rather spend his time and money on 19 year old females while chasing his dream of staying young...i dnt use this word but for his its a must..NIGGA PLEASE....git the fuck outta here man...and as much as I say i dnt care i do jus a little bit...but for the ppl that wrote me off and dnt do right by me...success is the ultimate revenge...i will succeed...but lemme git off his sorry ass and on to ppl who matter...mama i love u...without u there is no me literally...we bump heads all the time but hey u still love me...granny...love u much u r everything a person could want and need n a grandmother...u r there 4 me and vice versa...many ppl hate on r bond...and wat we got can nvr b broken...man im nervous not scared...finna start anew...a new journey new things man its exciting...im happy...to get outta louisville (ima b an hour and a half away tho dnt cry LOL) to start new to do something wit my life...no offense to anybody but i want bigger things outta life not the same o shit...i want chicken Parmesan not chicken noodles LOL feel me??? and most of all i wanna give all 8 of my brothers and sisters the life i never had..to wake up and have everything...i wanna spoil them...fuck everything else...that is my motivation. My brothers and sisters I want them to have everything i never did...shoes, clothes, candy, a big backyard man i want them to have it all...if i can do that then my life goal is accomplished...and to everyone that i hurt, I apologize (to 1 person in particular). I was young dumb and stupid but that still cannot excuse my behavior...If i was to turn back the hands of time i would to change everything i ever did to hurt u...(i kno thats played out but i had to use it again LOL) But i am a true believer in everything happens 4a reason and so i mean good luck with everything i hope we can b frenz but jus keep n touch wit me...u dun moved on and i am 2...

Foolish (Aug. 26th on myspace)

"Trying to get myself together, Hoping I don't cryWanting to be togetherBut this feeling getting worseOh I never thought I ever feel this hurtNow it's all I feel, it's all I feelSo I'm hoping like hell that it ain't 4realNow it's all I feel, it's all I feelWishing that it ain't but I know that it is2 days ago I felt like a star2 hours ago just lost my heartNow it's all I feel, it's all I feelIt's all I feel, it's all I feel"
Ray J- All I Feel
Well umm feelings. Love. They suck. I can now admit that i am an emotional cripple. And I'm okay with that. After going threw everything I have bn threw wit this person its better that way. No need to mention names I'm sure u all kno who it is. No need to be redundant. I'll mettion them only as BM. Now i was good. Not at first, even i'll admit that. April 8th 2008 is wen it offially ended. I was goin threw it yall. i mean crying myself to sleep er night. and i always said i would cry over nobody damn. i loved that person. still do. will do anything n the world em. around june i bounced back had a little rebound affair {FS}. but that didnt work out. y??? cuz i left them to be wit BM. the BM changed their mind. I'm not ready they said. Fuck. so around july i', jus playin my cards right not lookin jus doin me. den end of july come and i go threw it again. but august rolls around and i think shit n a cpl weeks ima b off to college. and nun of it will matter anymore. august cums and i'm light weight talkin to JV. nuttin major. except JV used to like BM. yea i kno crazy right??? but JV said its the past or watever so i let that shit slide. so i leave for college n JV is at the club and BM confronts JV about me. So i'm like why is BM worried bout wat the fuck im doin??? den BM tells me i still love u and u have my heart n a way i cant explain..and my dumb ass is thinkin well maybe we mite get back together.. den BM drops the bomb...biggest shocker of all...BM talks to FS...i about had a heart attack...silly shit...crazy shit...which is where im at right now...i love BM i really do...but i'm begginning to think their doin this shit on purpose...help me out yall!!! this is y i say fuck love...i cant do the feelings shit ever again..now im on my bow wow pt 2...
Damn I Just keep thinking about you I mean I wanna move on but I can't move onIt's like you have some kind of hold on me and I don't Know
But Imma go ahead I'm too attached, my heart won't let me fall back I got it bad, that's what you can call that When I see you in the streets, that's the worse for me Used to love the little things you did, that's what works for me
Bow Wow- Outta my System

I cant get it back, butI dont want it back, iRealized that,She dont know how to actNever been a dumb dudeNo im not denseI Just had a slight lackOf common sensePlease dont worry bout me im fine(Please dont worry bout me im fine)Only gonna play the fool one time(Only gonna play the fool one time)Trust me when I sayThat i'll be okGo on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl Ne-Yo- Go On Girl

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

New Blog Stuff

Well this is my new blog...Many of you have read my previous works on myspace or what not and thants cool...I will continue to post on both but mostly on here...right now...i am living life to fullest and thankful for everyday...i am n college loving it and tryna get an education...n for more years i will b a teacher...so thats what im workin towars now...a lot of ppl i used to associate with i dnt any more and im fine with that....so thats all for now...keep checking back...

check out my websites...
www.myspace.com/blessedyungdymz
www.bfears12.weebly.com