I first noticed the change in high school. From my junior year to my senior year I noticed a big change. I didnt know what it was. I thought something might have been wrong with me. But someone told me, "you're fine. you're maturing." At first I didnt know what that meant. I just shook it off. But then I had real life examples guide me through. Things I did when I was a junior I didnt do when I was a senior. Things like cutting class, talking back, getting smart. I just didnt do it. Not that I didnt have the urge to, I did. But a little voice in my head just told me it wasnt the right thing to do.
Flash forward to college. I swear everyday I am tested. I dont know why but I am. Anybody that knows me knows I have a bad mouth and an even badder attitude. So sometimes I think people like to test me, on purpose. Today, I receive an email from my advisor telling me I need to meet with him before Friday. I have been hasseling him since last week to meet so I can do my schedule and today he finally emails me back. So I already had an attitude about that. So he asked when could I meet I put "tomorrow morning?" His return email told me I was rude and disrespectful for a two word answer. This is his exact text
"You will need to call the Education office and make an appointment. We are not on call to appear when you choose. Your two word email giving me less than 12 hours notice is rude and disrespectful, especially given the attitude that I should be available all morning so you could visit at whatever time you choose."
I didnt feel I was rude nor disrespectful & I certainly didnt mean to come off that way. I started to give him a piece of my mind, but that little voice intervened.
Instead I said:
"Sorry you felt that way sir. I didn't intend to be rude nor disrespectful & I'm sorry you took it that way. I don't have a phone so there isn't a way I could call."
Im soooooo proud of myself cuz I really wanted to cuss him out. Its not just that instance. Its soooo much more that this man does to me. He intenionally makes my life at college difficult.
Another reason I try to bite my tongue is because I'm an African-American. I really try not to do anything that will bring my race down. I am trying to uplift and inspire (one of the reasons I want to be a teacher) and I know that African-Americans have stereotypes. And I try to do my best not to engage in any of those stereotypes.
Sorry for this rant I had to get it off my chest. I am proud of the growth I have had thus far, and look forward to continuing my journey in this life.