Sunday, May 27, 2012

Relationship With My Dad

My relationship with my dad is a weird one. I have spoke on it on my blog before ( and also wrote a song about it. I just really don't understand him or his mindset. I used to be mad, angry, and upset at him. Now that I am older, I no longer feel that way. I just take it for what it is. We will never have a typical father-daughter relationship and I have accepted that and come to terms with it. We don't talk everyday or even once a week. If I'm lucky we might talk once a month. And that's fine. I don't understand it, but it's life. The more I have gotten older I realize as much as I tried to distance myself from him, he will never not be apart of my life. Now that I have a kid of my own, his behavior doesn't make any sense to me. I could never see myself treating my daughter how he treated me. Especially now that I'm older and he doesn't have to deal with my mom, he can come directly to me. It's cool tho. I just have came to terms with it. One thing that connects me and my dad is our love for the game of basketball. One thing he did for me was to instill a love for the game that has never died. And for that I am forever grateful. Whenever he was in my life when I was younger, we always went to the park and ran with the guys. After everyone left we'd play one on one. I could never beat him and it make me feel a certain way. Yesterday, for the first time ever I beat him, 12-5. I was ecstatic and overjoyed. I wanted to scream and shout to the top of my lungs and tell the whole world. That's when I realized it. No matter what happens, he will always have an influence on my life in some way or another. Basically, I don't hate him anymore. I just understand our "relationship" and take it for what it is.

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