Life Update

Good afternoon all,

My apologies. I do not blog nearly as often as I used to, I will change that!  I have been going through a lot of changes in my life, some good and some bad, & I am grateful for them all. I am currently still in school working on my bachelors, I start a new job Monday, I am taking care of my beautiful daughter, & I am in a wonderful relationship with my future wife. Life is good. I am still in the Army National Guard, I play semi pro ball for the Louisville Fillies, and I am currently in the process of writing two books, one a memoir and another a collection of my poetry.  I will try to get them published but I will self publish if the need be! No shame in my game.  To keep with the latest, follow me on Instagram (@bfears) and Google Plus (B. Fears). As always thanks for reading, God bless.

The 2012 BET Hip Hop Awards Nominations

The 2012 BET Hip Hop Awards nominations have landed online. Below I have included the categories and in bold is who I think should win, not who i believe should win. There is a difference. LOL. What do you guys think?


 Best Hip-Hop Video
2 Chainz f/ Drake – “No Lie”
A$AP Rocky – “Goldie”
Drake f/ Lil’ Wayne – “HYFR”
Wale f/ Miguel – “Lotus Flower Bomb”
Kanye West, 2 Chainz, Big Sean x Pusha T – “Mercy”

 Reese’s Perfect Combo Award
2 Chainz f/ Drake – “No Lie”
Drake f/ Lil’ Wayne x Tyga – “The Motto”
J. Cole f/ Missy Elliott – “Nobody’s Perfect”
Wale f/ Miguel – “Lotus Flower Bomb”
Kanye West, 2 Chainz, Big Sean x Pusha T – “Mercy”

 Best Live Performer
A$AP Rocky
 Drake
J. Cole
The Throne
Kanye West

 Lyricist of the Year
 J. Cole
Jay-Z
 Kendrick Lamar
Nas
Kanye West

 Video Director of the Year
A$AP Rocky x Sam Lecca
Benny Boom
Chris Robinson
Kanye West
Hype Williams

 Producer of the Year
Hit-Boy
J. Cole
J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League
No I.D.
Kanye West

 MVP of the Year
2 Chainz
J. Cole
Jay-Z
Rick Ross
Kanye West

 Track of the Year
“Cashin’ Out” (Ca$h Out)
“I’ma Boss” (Meek Mill f/ Rick Ross)
“N–gas In Paris” (The Throne)
“No Lie” (2 Chainz f/ Drake)
“The Motto” (Drake f/ Lil’ Wayne x Tyga)

 CD of the Year
The Dreamer, The Believer (Common)
Take Care (Drake)
Cole World: The Sideline Story (J. Cole)
Watch The Throne (Jay-Z x Kanye West)
TM 103: Hustlerz Ambition (Young Jeezy)

 DJ of the Year
DJ Drama
DJ Enuff
DJ Envy
Funkmaster Flex
DJ Khaled

 Rookie of the Year
2 Chainz
A$AP Rocky
Ca$h Out
Future
Meek Mill

 Made You Look Award (Best Hip-Hop Style)
2 Chainz
A$AP Rocky
Big Sean
Nicki Minaj
Kanye West

 Best Club Banger
“Cashin’ Out” (Ca$h Out)
“The Motto” (Drake f/ Lil’ Wayne x Tyga)
“Same Damn Time” (Future)
“Ni–as In Paris” (The Throne)
“Mercy” (Kanye West, 2 Chainz, Big Sean x Pusha T)

 Best Mixtape
LiveLoveA$AP (A$AP Rocky)
1999 (Joey Bada$$)
Dreamchasers 2 (Meek Mill)
Rich Forever (Rick Ross)
Taylor Allderdice (Wiz Khalifa)

 Sweet 16: Best Featured Verse
2 Chainz – “Mercy”
Diddy – “Same Damn Time (Remix)”
 Drake – “Stay Schemin’”
Ludacris – “Same Damn Time (Remix)”
T.I. – “Magic (Remix)”

 Hustler of the Year
2 Chainz
Jay-Z
 Lil’ Wayne
Rick Ross
Kanye West

 Impact Track
“Around My Way (Freedom Ain’t Free)” (Lupe Fiasco)
“Bitch Bad” (Lupe Fiasco)
“Daughters” (Nas)
“Murder To Excellence” (The Throne)

 People’s Champ Award
2 Chainz f/ Drake – “No Lie”
Driicky Graham – “Snapbacks & Tattoos”
Meek Mill f/ Rick Ross – “I’ma Boss”
The Throne – “Ni–as In Paris”
 Kanye West, 2 Chainz, Big Sean x Pusha T – “Mercy”

 Best Hip-Hop Online Site
2DopeBoyz.com
AllHipHop.com
Complex.com
HipHopDX.com
NahRight.com
RapRadar.com
WorldstarHipHop.com

Relationship With My Dad

My relationship with my dad is a weird one. I have spoke on it on my blog before (http://bf3ars.blogspot.com/2009/08/letter-to-my-father.html) and also wrote a song about it. I just really don't understand him or his mindset. I used to be mad, angry, and upset at him. Now that I am older, I no longer feel that way. I just take it for what it is. We will never have a typical father-daughter relationship and I have accepted that and come to terms with it. We don't talk everyday or even once a week. If I'm lucky we might talk once a month. And that's fine. I don't understand it, but it's life. The more I have gotten older I realize as much as I tried to distance myself from him, he will never not be apart of my life. Now that I have a kid of my own, his behavior doesn't make any sense to me. I could never see myself treating my daughter how he treated me. Especially now that I'm older and he doesn't have to deal with my mom, he can come directly to me. It's cool tho. I just have came to terms with it. One thing that connects me and my dad is our love for the game of basketball. One thing he did for me was to instill a love for the game that has never died. And for that I am forever grateful. Whenever he was in my life when I was younger, we always went to the park and ran with the guys. After everyone left we'd play one on one. I could never beat him and it make me feel a certain way. Yesterday, for the first time ever I beat him, 12-5. I was ecstatic and overjoyed. I wanted to scream and shout to the top of my lungs and tell the whole world. That's when I realized it. No matter what happens, he will always have an influence on my life in some way or another. Basically, I don't hate him anymore. I just understand our "relationship" and take it for what it is.

Watching My Mouth!

The past few days, I have been thinking real hard. I had a revelation! I really need to make a conscious effort to watch my mouth. I am going to try really hard to eliminate swear words from my vocabulary. There are many reasons for this. I mean honestly, they don't serve a purpose. It's pointless. My roommate brought me a Christian bracelet and I can't wear that and call myself a child of God if I am cussing like a sailor. It doesn't make sense. Also my daughter is getting older and that is not the type of influence she needs to be around growing up and learning how to talk. Today during a sermon, the preacher also spoke on how the words that come out of our mouths are a representation of us and God. I am not perfect and every night I pray to be more like Christ and represent him in a good way. This is just another step towards that goal. I know it's not going to happen over night, but I am going to work hard!

Rest in Paradise BigFoot

SHAUN "BIG FOOT" "MR. EIGHTEENZ " BARLOW

I honestly was waiting to write this. Cuz I had just a lil sliver of hope that this would be a bad ass dream and I would wake up and everything would be okay. That's how delusional I am about this whole situation. I always say, Shit doesn't seem real til I see you laying in that casket and that couldn't have been true today. Damn man. Seeing you in that casket hurt me. I mean I wanted to fall to my knees and cry. I shed a few tears but I had to stay strong. I sure did cry in the shower when I got home tho. I have so many questions. They will never be answered. But I know for sure the good die young. Cuz you were a great individual. I was so blessed to have you in my life. You changed my life Shaun. You really did. I really do not have one bad thing to say about you. I hate that I am writing this. I really do. But I gotta keep all of our memories close to my heart. We have so many memories. I remember after work you used to come up to my dorm room and we would sit in the parking lot and talk about everything under the sun. Or what about the time it was like 12AM and we got kicked out of the waterfront park? LOL We had so many memories I could go on and on. But just know that you are missed and I am praying for your family. I know you are in heaven watching down on us. Thanks for the memories. I am thankful to have known you for the years that I did. I love and miss you. Watch over me please. I am going to stop now because the tears are starting to fall.

So Emotional

no tears...she is at peace now.

August 9, 1963 – February 11, 2012

Take My Dream Away

For as long as I can remember, I've been in love with basketball. I started playing competitively when I was in seventh grade & I haven't looked back since. Ever since my 8th grade year, I have started every team I have played for (except for disciplinary reasons). Basketball was my best friend. When I was sad, down, and depressed basketball understood me. Basketball didn't ask me questions or treat me differently. He accepted me for who I was. When I was in high school, someone joked and said I was going to bring Wilson (a brand of basketball) to the prom. I wish I could have LOL.

After high school, I received a basketball scholarship to play basketball for Saint Catharine College. It was only for the junior varsity team but I was still excited because I got to continue to live my dream, which was to play basketball. I had the mindset that I was gonna play a year for JV and then move up to the varsity. It didn't work out that way, and I ended up quitting the team. I started for the team and was one of the best players on the team but in retrospect I Didn't appreciate what I had.

Now that I am at Spalding University and not receiving alot of playing time, I look back and realize that at SCC I was too cocky. I was 18 years old and thought I knew everything. This has definitely been a humbling experience. Last year at Spalding, I played a total of 40 minutes the ENTIRE season. Yeah, I'm serious. It was a very difficult year mentally and emotionally for me. But I made it through even though I wanted to quit. I used to ask myself last year, why are you still here? I guess I didn't want to quit because of my love for the game.

This year, I knew it was going to be different. We have 5 seniors so I didn't think I was going to start, but through two games I have played a total of ZERO minutes. Yeah Zero. That is not a typo. It's so bad. I am literally the only person on the team who doesn't get into the game. This has taken a toll on my confidence. I used to be confident in my talent and my ability to play this game. I am not so sure anymore. I wanted to quit after the first game of the year. But my teammates talked me out of it.

People ask me all the time. Why play, if you are not playing? That is a damn good question, and one I ask myself all the time. I come across people all the time who played basketball in high school and who were fairly decent. Some played on teams that went to state and all. Out of 20 people I know who had the talent to play college ball, only 3 went to play ball. And only two of us are still playing. That is why I play. I pay because I don't want to be 36 and wondering what if. I play for the girl who wrote me on facebook who loves basketball and can't play because she has seizures. I play for my cousin who died who used to love basketball and played in high school. I play for all of these people.

Whenever I get down, I simply go to the gym and pick up a ball and shoot. Basketball takes me to another place. I used to have a dream of making it to the WNBA. I don't anymore. But after I graduate, I will still try out for a team. Why? Cause you never know. I don't want to wonder what if. I have a future post basketball, but I cannot imagine my life without basketball. So I hope to coach one day. I will always love the game for everything it has given to me. Basketball gave me hope.

Kentucky Politics = Racist

Man to be honest, I already knew Kentucky was racist. Back when I got followed in stores in the mall, back when I wore an Obama shirt on my college campus (St. Catharine) and got evil stares, back when I didn't know anything else. The shit has hit the fan man!

Personal opinions aside, everything I am stating is fact. Look it up on the Courier-Journal. Agriculture Commissioner Richie Farmer used taxpayers money ($1,576) to stay in a hotel that was a few miles away from his house.

Meanwhile, Councilwoman Judy Green is under fire for hiring her husband, & relatives for a summer cleaning job. She has clearly stated multiple times no one was NOT hired because her relatives WERE hired. The Ethics committee also stated that while no laws were broken her choices were "unethical".

Definition of unethical (princeton.edu)- not conforming to approved standards of social or professional behavior. So unethical is a loosely based definition.

In my humble opinion, Dr. Green did what any other person would have done, the same thing we as people are taught from the very foundation of our lives, to look out for our family

I know the reason Dr. Green is getting the butt of the criticism. It's simple really. It's because of her race & I dare anyone to tell me any differently.

Black Woman = Baby Mama

I have been thinking about this for a long time. If I step on a few toes so be it. It's my blog and my thoughts. I am tired of young women having babies to "keep a man". It's sickening and pathetic. If you haven't learned from the first generation of idiots that it doesn't work, why do you think you're gonna be different?

Another thing that boggles my mind, is when women say, labels don't matter. I know where his heart is. No bitch you're dumb. I know where his dick is. In another woman dumb ass. You think he's only fucking you? Negative. And y'all wonder why we (black women) are constantly leading the WORLD in new HIV infections.

I'm not "clowning" anybody. I'm just tired of seeing and hearing this bullshit. Ladies be smart and wrap it up. Stop letting these dudes play you for a fool.

Something else I was pondering. Less people than ever before are content with "shacking up" and not getting married. I'm not one to judge anyone, lets make that clear but when did the tides change? At first it was all about the big marriage and the house and kids. Now if a man is living with you for an extended period of time y'all are considered married. Huh? Really?

What do you guys think? Is marriage a necessity in this day and age? Why or why not?

Bigger Person?

To be honest, I used to be a hot head. Major Attitude. It was really bad. So bad that I once got into a fight in a basketball game, threw a ball at someone, and got arrested (didn't go to jail or get booked tho, thanks Mom =]). Honestly I feel like if i didn't change my ways, I was going to end up in jail for assault or something worse than that. Thank God I've changed.

It hasn't been all its cracked up to be though. I can't front, at times I find myself wondering if its worth it, being the bigger person. There is no reward, only personal satisfaction. But thats not even enough for me now days. Example one, the other day I was trying to comfort someone and her exact words were, "Don't fucking talk to me." The first thing I wanted to do was say, "Look her bitch I was trying to be nice and help your lil ugly ass out, but fuck you and your problems honestly!" But I just kindly smiled and walked away. There are many other examples and I could go on forever but sometimes I just wanna smack someone, flatten a tire or two, or throw a brick through a window. Hey I'm just being real. But I don't. I've changed.

I wouldn't give the Army all the credit but it did have a profound effect on my thinking. I couldn't smack or cuss out a drill sergeant. It was a prime lesson on holding my tongue "for the better". But where is better?

Not saying I'm gonna go back to being ratchet and cussing everyone out, but I think I was happier when I was that way. Even if I did stand a chance of going to jail. LOL jk.

Has anyone else ran into this problem?

Enough is Enough

A short one page paper on my thoughts about the recent string of gay suicides...what are your thoughts? What can we do to fix this issue? (links included)

Enough is Enough
My Thoughts on Bullying

Sadly, there has been a recent trend of teenagers (mostly male) who are killing themselves. Most of the time the reason has been because of bullying and because the males are either gay or presumed to be gay. This is disturbing and sends the wrong message to kids especially young gay kids; it’s okay to kill yourself if the pain becomes unbearable. This is the wrong message to send to our kids.
Let’s face it, gay or straight, kids will be bullied. It’s a fact of life. I was teased many times growing up over many things. But when is bullying “too” much? When does it cross the line? When does it stop being playful and start being hurtful? For gays and lesbians, the teasing is constant and there are no playful undertones at all. They are already having an internal struggle and they have a need to feel accepted. Many are rejected by their families so school is the only outlet for them. When their peers don’t accept them, it makes them feel like no one loves them. Add this to the fact that their religious leaders are telling them they are wrong and are going to hell, it can be a bit much, too much to handle. That’s when they feel like the only way to end the pain is to end their life. It’s a sad cycle being repeated by too many of our bright young youth. In fact, one third of all teens who commit suicide are gay.
Honestly, the answer to stopping these suicides is not to stop bullying. Yes, that is a step in the right direction but we can’t honestly think that we can stop all bullying instantly. We have to raise our kids differently and it starts at home. Parents have to teach their kids to be more accepting of people of all races, religions, and sexual orientations. Also, the schools have to start being more proactive. All kids who are being bullied aren’t going to ask for help for fear of being bullied more. So the schools and educators have to keep an eye out for students who are in trouble. Many of them exhibit warning sign before they take their life, it’s up to the educators to find those kids who are “slipping through the cracks” and get them help before it’s too late. How many suicides does it take for us as educators, as Americans, and as a people to say enough is enough?


Links

http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/10/12/gay-teen-suicide-surge/
http://www.ordinary-gentlemen.com/2010/10/gay-teen-suicides/
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/09/AR2010110904656.html
http://abcnews.go.com/US/gay-teen-suicide-sparks-debate/story?id=11788128

Future Baby Daddies! LOL

This is a list of all the men I think are fine! Not just regular fine but off the top over the wall, procreation fine!!!! (In No Particular Order) Ill be adding to this list in the future as well. Enjoy! & who did i miss?

Carmelo Anthony

Charles Hamilton

Pooch Hall

The Game

Nipsey Hussle

Tyrese

Lance Gross

Allen Payne (in his Jason's Lyric Days)

Edgar Sosa

Wiz Khalifa

Mike Rosario

Chris Brown (yes still)

Tyga

Bow Wow

Will Smith (In his Fresh Prince Days)

Chad Ochocinco

Car Crash

I really honestly think when I leave this Earth, it'll be in the form of a car cash.

All the time I have visions of my demise in a crash.

It got to a point where I would be nervous just to get into a car.

Its like that too now, but not as much.

I can drive and be a passenger but I still see visions almost all the time I'm in a car.

This is weird.

Anyone else have these types of visions/thoughts?

Depend on No One

In this world you cant depend on no one. NO ONE. when i say no one i mean no one. Not one person. I'm tired of everybody who says they're gone do something for me, and then they dont. Thats why I try to stick to my word. Cuz i know how much I hate that shit, so i know other people hate it. Thats why I'm going to the Guard. Cuz I gotta do for Brittany. No one can look out for me the way I can look out for me. I gotta grow up, & branch out. Im so tired of having to depend on people & getting let down. March 30th that will all change if its the Lord's Will.

Small rant, but this is how i'm feeling. I feel so... idk. I'm just ready to be my own woman & stop depending on people. I'm so ready to have my own income. My own apartment, my own car, my own space, my own everything. Fuck everything else. Thats my main focus for 2010. Mark my words by the end of 2010, I will have my own of everything I just mentioned.

its official

its official. i am a member of the Kentucky Army National Guard. I leave for basic the end of March. God is good.

What Would It Be Like?

Its 8:41 AM & i have slept a total of 9 hours the past two days. But hey that's life. lol. but anyways i am looking on this website called blackcelebritykids.com. I love that website. It has news and pics of all the little babies and the teenagers as well. I cant help but to think what would life be like, if i was Diddy's daughter, or one of Russel's nieces. They never have to work a day in their life, ya know. Like it must be nice.

I always wondered how God assessed who got what life. Like how he picks out our life for us. I mean I will always have to work hard for any and everything i get. not that I'm complaining but i have accepted that fact in my life. No silver spoon, I'm eating with a plastic fork right now. Will this make me a better person in the long run? Better yet, will it even matter? Random questions from a very random person.

All this, is just what it seems. I learned today that another girl in my high school class is pregnant. I'm pretty sure there are only 3 of us who don't have a baby (or babies in some cases). Half had their babies during high school and the other half right after. Crazy. (this is crazy too: www.bit.ly/c95e3Q).

As much as I want kids (only two, a boy and a girl), I refuse to bring my child into this world without being properly cared for. I want my child to have it all and to never have to want for anything.

I was thinking the other day, like gosh I'm gonna be an old mom. But I'd rather be that, that be a young mom struggling to make ends meet. My child WILL have a wonderful life that I'm sure. I pray every night that when I do procreate my child will come out with ten fingers ten toes and disease free.

All this goes to say, have you ever wondered about what life would be like if you were filthy rich? would you want that life? are you satisfied with your life?
Talk to me.

whats on my mind right now

right now, its 7:44 pm on January 3rd, 2010. This is whats on my mind. I might offend some ppl but eff it its my blog. & i dont care anymore.

As mean as this may sound, in 2010 I have to learn to be more selfish. It hurts but its true. Sometimes, i sacrifice my own happiness so others can be happy. In 2010 that will not be the case. I sometimes bite my tongue cuz i dont want to hurt ppls feelings. I bite my tongue because its the "right thing to do". Says who? I mean if I told all yall what I really think and stuff yall might think I need to be institutionalized. dead ass.

This month at home has made me realize how much I need my own place, my own space. I really need it. I need my self time. The time I set aside each day for me, has been interrupted. My shower time is the only time I have to myself. Its quiet relaxing and I can talk and vent to myself. (Dont act like yall dont talk in the shower lol dead ass tho). I need that.

Im confused. I want to work hard one day, and the next I want to be lazy. Im so tired of people who say a college degree is the route to a better life. Yes, but no. When I see idiots with a 7th grade reading level who are millionaires, I wonder to myself, why them? But i cant worry about the next person I gotta be focused on me and getting me to where I need to go so i can better the life of myself and my family.

I sometimes wonder. I really think I was put on this earth to teach and to better people. At the same time, Im tired of having to worry about money, and count every dollar and budget. But the life of a teacher isnt million dollar dreams. So im conflicted. Do I switch my major and go for the money? or stay in Education and go for the people? Always get a job you like they say. Well whats good if I have a job I like, but..... man I dont even know.

Then this military thing. Im not gone even lie. Im going for stability for myself and my brothers and sisters. Honestly if it wasnt for them and my lil cousins I wouldnt even be in college. Such is the life of a role model. Lol. Im not complaining tho. I love them and wouldnt be half the person I am without them. They better me in more ways than one.

As far as I can remember the only thing that makes me happy is _____. But what happens when ____ is taking from me? It makes me humble, and more focused and driven.

Thats all my ranting for now. I could go on, but i digress.

#nowplaying Show TuFli-Come Home With Me

Growing Up

I first noticed the change in high school. From my junior year to my senior year I noticed a big change. I didnt know what it was. I thought something might have been wrong with me. But someone told me, "you're fine. you're maturing." At first I didnt know what that meant. I just shook it off. But then I had real life examples guide me through. Things I did when I was a junior I didnt do when I was a senior. Things like cutting class, talking back, getting smart. I just didnt do it. Not that I didnt have the urge to, I did. But a little voice in my head just told me it wasnt the right thing to do.

Flash forward to college. I swear everyday I am tested. I dont know why but I am. Anybody that knows me knows I have a bad mouth and an even badder attitude. So sometimes I think people like to test me, on purpose. Today, I receive an email from my advisor telling me I need to meet with him before Friday. I have been hasseling him since last week to meet so I can do my schedule and today he finally emails me back. So I already had an attitude about that. So he asked when could I meet I put "tomorrow morning?" His return email told me I was rude and disrespectful for a two word answer. This is his exact text
"You will need to call the Education office and make an appointment. We are not on call to appear when you choose. Your two word email giving me less than 12 hours notice is rude and disrespectful, especially given the attitude that I should be available all morning so you could visit at whatever time you choose."
I didnt feel I was rude nor disrespectful & I certainly didnt mean to come off that way. I started to give him a piece of my mind, but that little voice intervened.
Instead I said:
"Sorry you felt that way sir. I didn't intend to be rude nor disrespectful & I'm sorry you took it that way. I don't have a phone so there isn't a way I could call."
Im soooooo proud of myself cuz I really wanted to cuss him out. Its not just that instance. Its soooo much more that this man does to me. He intenionally makes my life at college difficult.

Another reason I try to bite my tongue is because I'm an African-American. I really try not to do anything that will bring my race down. I am trying to uplift and inspire (one of the reasons I want to be a teacher) and I know that African-Americans have stereotypes. And I try to do my best not to engage in any of those stereotypes.

Sorry for this rant I had to get it off my chest. I am proud of the growth I have had thus far, and look forward to continuing my journey in this life.

Jesus Can't Save You, Life Starts When The Church Ends..

Okay so me and a dear friend of mine (What's up L.A) where discussing the music industry and the devil like a month ago before the Empire State of Mind song blew up. We were talking about the numerous refernces to it in Jay-Z's song Run This Town (http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=1948). It made me think real long and hard. At first I passed it off as just heresay. I mean Jay Z? worshipping the devil? It was a bit much. Then I read it a second time and it was like a light turned on. The devil uses powerful to get to us. We (people in general) memorize and recite these raps with second nature. Its making more sense now.

The other day, me and L.A. did a small facebook experiment. We both changed our status to the now infamous Jay Z line in Empire State of Mind: "Jesus Can't Save You, Life Starts When The Church Ends". I left it there for 24 hours maybe a little more. Out of all 750+ friends on facebook only 2 said something to me about my status. & most of the people on my facebook are "christians" & love God etc. I was a little disappointed and disturbed. I did it to get reactions and I didnt get any & disturbed because if these so called "Christians" will let someone they know openly disrespect Christ by name, what else were they letting slide?

I think Jay Z needs to explain the line. Immediately. I could see where he is saying "Jesus cant save you" In the context of the story if you read between the lines before that line, it seems as he is saying you can’t be a whore all week and go to Church on Sunday to repent. You can’t just be innocent in Church and be sinning all week after that. But "life starts when the Church ends? huh? im confused Mr. Carter. And for the record, I have NOTHING against Atheists. A friend of mine is one. But to worship the devil is two different things.

I dont like the song anymore. I will boycott it & his music until he comes out with a response to let us know what he was meaning. Hip Hop is art, and art can be interpreted in many ways. Unfortunately his are being interpreted in the wrong way.

So readers I have said my piece, what do you guys/girls think? Be open & honest!

other links speaking on the topic:
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dApiC2-l04&feature=player_embedded]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OYUSvHGFnQ&feature=response_watch]
[http://ajsdailydevotions.blogspot.com/2009/09/jay-z-says-jesus-cant-save-you-on-his.html]
[http://bit.ly/4zgRXm]

Changes...

"I guess change is good for any of us" - TuPac "I Aint Mad at Ya"

As I am writing this, I am either about to undergo or currently undergoing some changes. Some minor, some major but changes nonetheless. Some of these changes I cant speak on at the moment, but they will come to light sooner rather than later. I am extremely proud on getting an internship with Dr. Judith Green (google her if you don't know), and I cant wait until that begins.

But right now I am focused on one thing: School. Its hard staying focused when the finish line is so far away. That's kinda how I feel about school. I know I want a degree, I know I need a degree, and I know I'll get said degree, but when its paper after paper, assignment after assignment, its hard to think about "hey this is going to add up to a degree" which is nothing but a piece of paper telling an employer you are fit for a certain job. Ugh. The world today. Being the type of person I am, I lack patience. Seeing that I am studying to become a teacher, that might not be the best thing. LOL. But hey, it is what it is. School is teaching me patience.

I hate school. Seriously, its nothing more than I hate than listening to a professor talk to me about boring things i prolly wont remember next semester. Especially my Intro To Lit class. OMG sooo boring. But I know I HAVE to do it. So i suck it up and look at my arm and remember why I am in college in the first place.

Sometimes I wanna do a Kanye (College Dropout). Sometimes I feel like Lil' Jimmy:
"You keep it going man, you keep those books rolling,
You pick up those books your going to read
And not remember and you roll man"

I think life's not fair. It's true life's not fair. But there isnt anything any of us can do about it. Except play the game. And play it to win.