Bigger Person?

To be honest, I used to be a hot head. Major Attitude. It was really bad. So bad that I once got into a fight in a basketball game, threw a ball at someone, and got arrested (didn't go to jail or get booked tho, thanks Mom =]). Honestly I feel like if i didn't change my ways, I was going to end up in jail for assault or something worse than that. Thank God I've changed.

It hasn't been all its cracked up to be though. I can't front, at times I find myself wondering if its worth it, being the bigger person. There is no reward, only personal satisfaction. But thats not even enough for me now days. Example one, the other day I was trying to comfort someone and her exact words were, "Don't fucking talk to me." The first thing I wanted to do was say, "Look her bitch I was trying to be nice and help your lil ugly ass out, but fuck you and your problems honestly!" But I just kindly smiled and walked away. There are many other examples and I could go on forever but sometimes I just wanna smack someone, flatten a tire or two, or throw a brick through a window. Hey I'm just being real. But I don't. I've changed.

I wouldn't give the Army all the credit but it did have a profound effect on my thinking. I couldn't smack or cuss out a drill sergeant. It was a prime lesson on holding my tongue "for the better". But where is better?

Not saying I'm gonna go back to being ratchet and cussing everyone out, but I think I was happier when I was that way. Even if I did stand a chance of going to jail. LOL jk.

Has anyone else ran into this problem?