untitled

I know your gone
i see it too
but a small part of me
still loves you

The past is the past
i'm never lokkin back
but you're makin it easy
by the way you act

Cant Be civilized
just tryna be your friend
we promised we would
be friends til the end

The weather changes
and people do too
cuz you're not the same
it's not me its you

So what do i do
I have moved on
i'm tryna do right
but you treat me wrong

You're in love now
happy, so I let you be
she better not do you wrong
or she'll have to deal with me

so no matter what you do
no matter what occurs
Ima b here fa you
jus say the word

But the friend stuff
maybe I took it too far
cuz my feelings got involved
and that aint aint cool at all

its all love though
my feelings anit crushed
just me and you
i have finally given up

FREE

FREE
My heart is free
Thank God it's true
I am finally
Over you

It wasn't easy
it was super hard
but I see the light
and made it threw the dark

I feel so good
life is love
bfears is back
now thats wats up

I dont regret nothing
it was a great lesson
I passed my test
now I'm not stressing

My heart is free
thank God its true
on to the next
you're in my rearview

Flashbacks & Understandings

Well my last post was about me being in a happy place and gettin over my ex...well this one is kinda the oppposite...lol...allow me to explain...okay me and the ex havent talked n like a month...then they deleted me on the space so i was like hey its a wrap...but then wen i was back home...i got a phone call and we talked on the phone for an hour!...jus about everything...the past, the present andd the future...it was good to have that understanding...they love me but r not in love wit me...i was like that cant b possible but they insisted it was...anyways we went out and i was like can i get a hug? BM was like duh come here and started smiling...so i gave them a hug and everything flashed back...i swear it was like in the movies yall...everything...jus came back and i didnt wana let go...but i did...and then we were at the club and They and their new boo was hugged up and erbody was lookin at me like i was supposed to be mad or something but i wasnt...i mean i wasnt happy...but i wasnt sad...get it? i didnt feel anything...im happy their happy...but im def glad we got an understanding...i needed that...and i did lose a fren...how idk...we havent spoke n a month but i didnt realize there were any hard feelings til i saw them n the club parking lot and called their name...they mean mugged the shit outta me...damn...i said is that for us? my crazy ass was ready to fight but i thought abt it...fight for wat? so what they dnt wana b my fren...y? only they knw...im good...their weak...the old brittany woulda tapped that ass...but hey im "maturing" now...lol its all good doe...im enjoying my life...school is great...ball is fine...god is good....

one year three months

FIRST OFF A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR ALL THE LIVES LOST ON 9/11/01...NEVER WILL U B FORGOTTON...
WELL TODAY IS 9/11/08 AND IT WOULD HAVE BN A YEAR AND THREE MONTHS....AAND THE QUESTION WAS POSED TO ME...DO U MISS THEM? HONESTLY NO...THERE WAS A TIME IN MY LIFE WEN I THOUGHT I COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT THEM...BUT GUESS WAT IM LIVIN...AND LOVIN IT...I THOUGHT I COULDNT GO ON...BUT I DID AND I AM...I ANT GONNA LIE...THE THOUGHT CROSSES MY MIND FROM TIME TO TIME...BUT NOW ITS ONCE A WEEK INSTEAD OF 24/7...SO HEY IM MAKIN PROGRESS LOL....I DO MISS WAT WE HAD...NOT THE PERSON PAR SE....I MISS THE LIGHT NIGHT PHONE CALLS...WAKIN UP N THE MORININ...GOING TO EACH OTHERS GAMES...THE CONSTANT TEXTS...THE LOVE MAKIN...YEA I MISS THAT ASPECT...BUT THE PERSON? NOT SO MUCH...SO YEA IT WOULD HAVE BN A YEAR AND 3 MONTHS AND I TAKE TIME TO REFLECT ON WHAT COULD HAVE BN...BUT NOW I LOOK TO MY FUTURE AND WAT IS....I WILL ALWAYS HAVE LOVE FOR THAT PERSON...BUT HEY IVE MOVED ON...THANK THE LORD!!!!

poem/song/whatever (july 28th 08 on myspace)

i know i messed up i know i made mistakes
but i promise i can take it all away
together forever is what we used to always say
but forever aint too long cuz it aint today
i miss yo smile yo lips and yo tight hugs
and the way we held each other after we made love
i cant go threw the day without thinking of you
I remenience on the day u used to be my boo
my frens tell me to move on that its over and dun
i tried to but it aint easy or fun
its hurts more cuz u dun moved on wit yo life
and im still stuck thinking bout u day and night
ima fool a sucker for this thing called love
never again will i feel like i felt fa ya
back n the day u was my ace boon coon
my best fren ride or die my number 1 goon
but now we never hang out and we barely even txt
the past is the past i put that shit to rest
now all u gotta do is keep it real and say yes
cuz ya name is forever etched in my chest
wat i gotta do to prove to you that ive changed
its fa the best we aint gotta worry bout the same things
man i miss you wen the phone ring i hope its you
wen i get a text i hope its you too
this love thing it really aint a game
it went in and came out and i aint been the same
im spose to be happy enjoying my life
but without you nuttin seems right
i wanna do right but u playin me to the left
i swear this is how Lauren Hill musta felt
you gimme signs sometimes but maybe im wrong
u never know what u got til its gone
and i didnt know what i had til u dipped
i ran lip but in the end i still tripped
i see u n the club and i try to keep my cool
i dnt go back cuz i cant look at you
dancing wit other people wats at all about
i forgot u single i dnt care thats loose rap
everybody tell me to leave it alone
but wen its true love u cant leave it alone
dey dnt know wat we got i mean what we had
cuz if they did they too would be sad
you my soulmate me and u were meant to be
it was written in the books its our destiny
or maybe im crazy dreamin schemin 2 get u back were u was
i swear never again will i fall n love
its been 3 months 2 weeks and 6 days
i keep on thinking how i let u get away
some days im okay and some days im pissed
how did it end up like this???
all i got is memories of us to help me through
and them notes u wrote me i got them too
i feel like jay z on song cry the 3rd verse
right now it cant get no worse
but it do
im leavin fa college n a few
we need to get it together b4 i leave
somehow someway its a dream
im not a jealous person maybe i am a lil bit
but thats human nature baby dnt trip
please excuse me but remember that time
we spent the night in yo livin room crying
I dnt remeber y but i remember us
jus me and u cryin til the sun came up
we dun bn threw too much 2 throw it all out
when is the right time? i think now
we cant reconnect cuz we never connection
i jus cant wait to feel your affection
i forgot wat your kisses feel like your tender touch
i know wat u thinking y u tryna rush
toma aint promised and today we cant get back
more time for us to spend together know that
i said what i had to say know its on you
dnt keep me waitin any longer wat u gone do?

Foolish (Aug. 26th on myspace)

"Trying to get myself together, Hoping I don't cryWanting to be togetherBut this feeling getting worseOh I never thought I ever feel this hurtNow it's all I feel, it's all I feelSo I'm hoping like hell that it ain't 4realNow it's all I feel, it's all I feelWishing that it ain't but I know that it is2 days ago I felt like a star2 hours ago just lost my heartNow it's all I feel, it's all I feelIt's all I feel, it's all I feel"
Ray J- All I Feel
Well umm feelings. Love. They suck. I can now admit that i am an emotional cripple. And I'm okay with that. After going threw everything I have bn threw wit this person its better that way. No need to mention names I'm sure u all kno who it is. No need to be redundant. I'll mettion them only as BM. Now i was good. Not at first, even i'll admit that. April 8th 2008 is wen it offially ended. I was goin threw it yall. i mean crying myself to sleep er night. and i always said i would cry over nobody damn. i loved that person. still do. will do anything n the world em. around june i bounced back had a little rebound affair {FS}. but that didnt work out. y??? cuz i left them to be wit BM. the BM changed their mind. I'm not ready they said. Fuck. so around july i', jus playin my cards right not lookin jus doin me. den end of july come and i go threw it again. but august rolls around and i think shit n a cpl weeks ima b off to college. and nun of it will matter anymore. august cums and i'm light weight talkin to JV. nuttin major. except JV used to like BM. yea i kno crazy right??? but JV said its the past or watever so i let that shit slide. so i leave for college n JV is at the club and BM confronts JV about me. So i'm like why is BM worried bout wat the fuck im doin??? den BM tells me i still love u and u have my heart n a way i cant explain..and my dumb ass is thinkin well maybe we mite get back together.. den BM drops the bomb...biggest shocker of all...BM talks to FS...i about had a heart attack...silly shit...crazy shit...which is where im at right now...i love BM i really do...but i'm begginning to think their doin this shit on purpose...help me out yall!!! this is y i say fuck love...i cant do the feelings shit ever again..now im on my bow wow pt 2...
Damn I Just keep thinking about you I mean I wanna move on but I can't move onIt's like you have some kind of hold on me and I don't Know
But Imma go ahead I'm too attached, my heart won't let me fall back I got it bad, that's what you can call that When I see you in the streets, that's the worse for me Used to love the little things you did, that's what works for me
Bow Wow- Outta my System

I cant get it back, butI dont want it back, iRealized that,She dont know how to actNever been a dumb dudeNo im not denseI Just had a slight lackOf common sensePlease dont worry bout me im fine(Please dont worry bout me im fine)Only gonna play the fool one time(Only gonna play the fool one time)Trust me when I sayThat i'll be okGo on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl Ne-Yo- Go On Girl